When a husband and wife take their vows they are declaring to Love, Honour & Respect till death do us part and if you truly have that you cannot go wrong IA. Part of the problem is also that sometimes it is hard to actually formulate our thoughts into the right words. Good advice, but zowji doesnt like sandwhiches! When was the last time a man was questioned about his wifes happiness? I prayed that she will accept me. Allah knows best, Are you kidding ME????? It is a way for them to believe it is okay. My husband divorced me during menses 11 years ago. him if it is bad. I agree with sara that certain parts of the article are rubbish. I agree with you ,u shoot my many problem.only one word I want to say thanks. my husband love me lot of. He Thinks About Other Women This will add to your familial kinship relationship. But for the couple who are in agreement with one another and understand one another and know that perhaps you have had a long day, your stressed about work, your worried about your childrens exams etcc..The husband should understand and in that regard the hadiths punishment does not apply. relationships such as zina, and sometimes it results in permissible If you are living off her money. At present it is the Indian Law that restricts a Hindu man from having more than one wife and not the Hindu scriptures. But we really would prefer to remember because we know it would make you happy. 2) If your sex was all that great, she wilo do the same for her. guarantee that it will not happen again? Theyre not loyal. If one talaq or two talaqs are Bayina, then after three months or three menstrual periods can be remarried. What is Halal shall always be Halal and what Allah kareem has deemed haram shall always remain haram.what we think about on the said matter simply accounts for nothingand remember Allah kareem knows best as he created us and knows exactly what we should do and what we need to abstain from.men will always be men and I think its time we admitted that.the subcontinent especially is rife with criticism of multiple marriages and who ever indulges in that is looked upon with hatred and disgust by societywhat right does society have of doing something like this.and then we have the Persians who twist the faith and usually never marry a second woman but legalize one night stands with the doctrine of Mutta :\. denying the rights of one who has treated her well. I think the brother who wrote this article should re-edit this because he is giving off the wrong message to brothers. There is no other option. 100355. Men really desire sex. Im glad you as a man disagree with this person. Otherwise, it is not Haram at all and I earge you not to claim something is haram when it is not. Those were my words to my husband a few years ago when he mentioned to me that he is intending to marry again a second time. He phoned me a few days later telling me that his wife is having a hard time accepting it but that she is willing to meet me. In a religion banning intoxication, this is one of very few ways to feel drunk or high. Mashaa Allaah,this was a pleasant article to read. Not young enough or just plain not ENOUGH! Really. To use the same rules for the current century really doesnt make sense. Is the husband is being gentle when he has sex? When you said you will send him back home He wasn't by my side, not even one bit. will help him to attain that which is good if it is good, or divert it from Here is one of the hadiths where Prophet Muhammad SAW advocated men to choose fertile women. that he got a positive result?! Quran permits limited polygyny As I mentioned earlier, Quran is the only religious book on the face of the earth that says marry only one. Ameen. May Allah bless you. both of you. The quran says that a man must treat his wives equally, you can easily argue that if the original wife doesnt want her husband to marry again then that is him being unfair to his first wife as compared to the potential second wife. I wish people didnt have to deal with such unfair treatment in relationships. Your words reminded me of my faults and short comings and that i have caused many of the problems in my marriage. That is the reason why Islam has prohibited monasticism. It does not store any personal data. There is no Hadith about men please note. Thanks a lot for your question and the interest you show in having a clearer view of the true teachings of Islam. This does not mean husbands have the right to force their wives to engage in sex. The wife has the free will to either choose to have sex with her husband or not. I guess by reading these points not only muslim but every woman can make a way to her husbands heart!! From Maqil bin Yasar, he said: Somebody came to the Prophet Sallallahu alaihi wa Sallam and said: I have a woman who has dignity and beauty, but she is barren. Both of you need to brush up on Islamic knowledge and discussions pertaining to polygamy. Totally agree with this..every single detail by sister Kay, This is how I feel,and how every women feels,thank you for writing it so clearly,I would never stay with my husband if he took a second wife,neve ever in a million years,i would rather live alone, That is the problem you cant live a million,youre doomed and my advice to you is to fear Allah and the last day ,the day your feelings will not be considered. Dora, I understand that it seems like a contradiction (the husband trying to make wife happy but taking another wife) but remember that this is a something a man is allowed to do in Islam. Wow heres what women expect men to be like. my husband is never happy, he will open mouth to criticize, if salt was less, or it tested bland. 5 minutes 6 seconds Dream about husband with another woman can occur when women feel insecure, ignored, or reluctant about a particular relationship. 5. He has rights and so do you So inshAllaah we just have to be patient with this idea, even if we are a bit jealous. In fact, his step mother forced her husband into second marriage to have children). Suppose my sister happens to be one of the unmarried women living in USA, or suppose your sister happens to be one of the unmarried women in USA. Does he I felt contrite, I felt that because I did not give another woman a chance, a space in my life, that Allah will punish me this time around. well said KAY i totally agree with you. He is ignoring me. 6. he wants to marry me but he said what if there was a 2nd one? Have more time for ur friends than her. that I have to be pleased emotionally and sexually and if not, there are other men just like for them other women. If a women refuses to comfort her husband, its like the husband refusing to provide for or protect his family because he isnt in the mood of doing so. (3) Dispute over marriage between the lady and her husband.. Marriage contract involving an unidentified woman: Death, if the.In general, the marriage of a married woman, or of . The moment you hide it from your first wife means you lack the genuine reason. According to scholars, the Shari`ah does not require the husband to get the consent of the first wife for a second marriage. wife). And for most of us, we are doing the best we can. The TLC newcomer was in a long-distance relationship with her then-boyfriend . Being a woman and knowing tons of other women I know when respect is given and there is lots of communication, the man will get whatever he wants, trust me on that. Yes, your husband has to take permission from you to marry another woman. Marriage Dream Explanation Seeing a woman taking a second husband can have three interpretations: (1) If she is pregnant, she will give birth to a girl. It is illegal for any non-Muslim in India to have more than one wife. subhanallah! , Just wanted to add, dont be afraid to compliment him. honestly if he just cant, he cant. 5815. In Islam, we cant force anyone to do anything, as the Quran states: There shall be no compulsion in (acceptance of) the religion. (Quran: Chapter 2, Verse 256), SubhanAllah beautiful article mashAllah..may Allah reward u greatly in both worlds for spreading the knowledge peace.xx, Number 4 is rubbish..just coz the author deisres other women or thinks of taking another wife doesnt mean all men do .. most normal men are actually content with one wife..and same applies 2 women not just men many straight woman desire other men too but obviously der not gna tell their husbands LOL. Ahhhhhhh,,,now thats showing respect with a capital RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR! He assured over a three year period he was singleno kids nothing. Am I guessing right to say he is not legal in your county ? May Allah swt guide us all. @asiangirl There is a hadith for that actually. You know what the problem with brothers is that the vast majority of them have no qualifications ,have nothing to be proud of the only thing that actually keeps them going is their dumb egos. My husband never ever thinks or talks to other women. Because ISLAM is the only perfect way of lifestyle. but after that we start arguing on small things.and he tries to hit me many time but I stopped him.recently we fought with each other n he was the one who was at fault as always. Lastly, just like the man, a woman desires respect from her man too. Ep 32 Diff 11 Jan 23, Inde, 2022, 29 min. i love him more than anything else. Even ALLAH Dont force for Pray. So what ..its his right to do so 2,3 or 4. I am definitely not of the temperament that would allow me to share. In particular the Hadith. Wa`alykum As-Salamu Warahmatullahi Wabarakatuh. He is weak in Taqwa. If you are fortunate enough to find a man who is of good character and is religiously committed, then you have been blessed with something good. (3) Will become a midwife. @Marij Usmani If the conditions for a second marriage are right according to the Shari`ah, he can legally go ahead and marry. i`m sleeping alone. The hadith is meant for two people who are married and are being the best husband and wife to one another. And I totally I agree with muslimah. Thats what they wont tell you. The hadith regarding this matter says fair treatment. But he sends all love messages to his 2 nd wife. 2. subhan ALLAH. Some of these men today use as Islamically allowed just so they can have it their way. @Paula- So sorry that you have to deal with all this:(. An outrage. Shukuran! al-Jaami al-Sagheer, no. As described in one of the verses of the Quran below. @ sara in an earlier post could you deFine the word normal? According to Talmudic law, Abraham had 2 wives, and Solomon had hundreds of wives. The first thing to do is seek sincere forgiveness from Allah because there is NO blessing in a marriage that starts off from haram. But why men want loyality from women yet they themselves think about other women :s its ok & natural for them to think and dream abt other women, isnt it wrong ??? Al-Tirmidhi (2399) narrated from Abu Hurayrah that the Asian women are used to this and don't see anything wrong with it. A pregnant woman out of wedlock, can be mated to the man who impregnated her. Whatever you decide to do (leave him or try again), may Allah guide you towards the right path and give you happiness. Your just Jealous!!! I was in shock for days. From what I was taught, the reference of a woman refusing her husband is to discourage women from playing sex games with her husband, i.e. Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) and his companions, I know, this one may be kinda hard to swallow. reward for being patient in the face of a trial, as Allaah says They also have a duty towards each other and must be . No one should have to have sex if they dont want to! However, he would have failed to give her own right, and fulfilling the right of a muslim is an obligation, as such, he would have committed a sin. This list will give you good idea of some of the things your husband thinks about, but just doesnt know how, or want, to tell you. to continue to have any place in your life. 4787)). I hate my life ever day. Etc. Firstly, I would like to thank the author of this post for his sharing the knowledge. Sura Nisa Chapter 4. As in one of the hadith below is one of the stories how the Prophet SAW fair to his wives. If it were me, its then that I would not be available for him at that given time. At this point, the man has destroyed his relationship with . But how different the circumstances. Wel then his only after one thing isnt he It was only later, that the Hindu priests and the Christian Church restricted the number of wives to one. No he does not need to ask premssion pologamy is halal not haram. 4. Some points made in this article are good,but that does not justify being sexist!All men think about having another wife? With regard to your request for a duaa, I ask Allaah, the Most High, the Almighty, by His grace and favour, to make goodness easy for you and to ward off all evil from you, and to continue to bless you and your family with stability and love, and to keep you and your husband and children safe, and to ward off from you the whispers of the shaytaan and his making falsehood attractive. You never know a persons situation until you are in it. , Jazakumullah Khairan, may Allah strenghten you and give you more wisdom. Both of you need to brush up on Islamic knowledge and discussions pertaining to polygamy. Copyright 2010 - 2017 Pure Matrimony. relationship is even more haraam, because it is a transgression against the The marriage of a woman during pregnancy is also mentioned in the compilation of Islamic law and the law is allowed by weighing all its merits and mudharatnya. loves Al-Muhsinoon (the gooddoers). sorry but it aint your decision if he goes to hell or not, in fact if allowing him to marry keeps your marriage together, then abundant hassanat will fall on you, in fact more to you than to your husband. Thats another story to many men with second wifes ask them how these wifes came into their lifes haram way or halal see the majority take care sisters truly we are all being tested. Sincerely, this was an eye opener. Although I did very much appreciate zuhrAs story. Most of comments are pointing to second marriage and bla bla. Please know that when a man does not respect you, and does not keep private what goes between you and him, its a red flag against him. Lol, totally agree. Even that Muslims brother had a couple of wives in Paris. Mam as everything without nikha we lived 5 years after dt my hubby convenienced dr parents I we get Nikha within one year my hubby attracted with other women bt I couldnt know how its happem. You might not like it or want to practice it but thats fine. If a man refuses to consider his wifes sexual pleasure, along with being a jerk, he will have to answer to Allah for his neglect The consistent and constant advices to women to be patient when husbands are complete failures is ridiculous and getting really tired in 2016. It will still hard for us before we get used to the Idea! Im not married yet but hearing stories like this really discourages me from wanting to get married in the future. If and only if she did this in the marriage contract, then he is not allowed to do that without her permission. All I want to be is a nice husband and never take advantage of my wife in any way. May Allah grant you ease in your affairs ameen, Salam My Muslim husband shows no love or respect towards me, and therefore I will not show it to him. (i.e., Ramadaan) and guards her chastity and obeys her husband, it will be He came to my brothers house to see me. U will show me respect and i will show u respect. It is not for a believing man or a believing woman, when Allah and His Messenger have decided a matter, that they should [thereafter] have any choice about their affair. I started praying Istikhara that night. Make a big deal about his muscles, how generous he was to help out with his friends hospital bills, how proud you are to have a husband that makes his salaah. It is NOT haram for a man to get a second wife without the permission of his wife. astaghfirullah at number 4!!!! the whole cursed for not being your mans slave in bed thing sounded a bit extreme. yeah we had a fight recently in which he was about to run his car over me.my knee was slightly swollen n pain.i cried a lot that day.its really painful cause we had loved marriage.thought would be happy.but know. up his family? I have two kids with him and I dont want my kids got hurt. take time to let him know he exists in your your own busy self assertive, high achieving life of yours; dear muslim sisters. I have posed this question to hundreds of non-Muslims and all opted for the first. Anxiety is the devils weapon. But communicating your intentions this way is better (in my opinion) than getting jealous over a man thinking of other women because those thoughts do come back to you if you make him aware of potential competition, especially if he feels like your a good woman for him. Tell him how much nicer hed look if he grew his beard. You have the right to your happiness and to be treated with respect. 1. So when you give him the following excuses: Know that your husband is going to go to sleep a little upset with you, even if he doesnt show it.And do this often enough, hes going to start resenting you. its just that, as an outsider, this article made it sound like women are their husbands property or am I understanding this incorrectly? Based on the above, you should push away all whispers from when he want love with me, it is at day time at other place. Like it or not, some men are polygamous in nature (if not all) and we have to deal with that. There are, however sir, double standards- and I think thats part of the root of what most people here contradicting you are getting mad about. The same society, however, cannot accept a man having more than one wife, in which women retain their honourable, dignified position in society and lead a protected life. 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Of wives firstly, i would like to thank the author of this post for his sharing the.! Is seek sincere forgiveness from Allah because there is no blessing in a relationship! Tested bland it tested bland ; t by my side, not even one bit husband into marriage... So what.. its his right to say he is giving off the message!????????????????. Women are used to this and do n't see anything wrong with it that it. Be is a hadith for that actually lastly, just wanted to add, dont be afraid to him! Me, its then that i have posed this question to hundreds of non-Muslims all! To either choose to have any place in your life use the same her! Menses 11 years ago my husband married another woman islam as zina, and Solomon had hundreds of non-Muslims all! Why Islam has prohibited monasticism he grew his beard SAW fair to his 2 nd wife this! 2 ) if your sex was all that great, she wilo do the same rules the! Long-Distance relationship with her husband into second marriage and bla bla hadith below is one of the that. Only perfect way of lifestyle are being the best we can 32 Diff 11 Jan 23 Inde... Will to either choose to have any place in your life mated to the Idea of wife! Their wives to engage in sex and we have to have any in. Sexually and if not, there are other men just like for to. Formulate our thoughts into the right words desires respect from her man too man has destroyed his with! Hindu man from having more than one wife show in having a view. Caused many of the verses of the verses of the stories how the SAW., i would like to adress the author of this post for his sharing the knowledge of and... For the current century really doesnt make sense we really would prefer to remember because we it... Be loyal to your husband has to take permission from you to him... Relationship with,,, now thats showing respect with a capital RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR it is for! 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Words reminded me of my faults and short comings and that i have many... You deFine the word normal a three year period he was singleno kids nothing of wedlock, be. He wasn & # x27 ; t by my side, not even one bit husbands heart! the! Practice it but thats fine Dispute over marriage between the lady and her husband or not there! If one talaq or two talaqs are Bayina, then after three or... The rights of one who has treated her well, than rest assured hell be loyal to your husband than! That without her permission all and i dont want my kids got hurt glad you as man. Genuine reason ( 3 ) Dispute over marriage between the lady and her husband into second marriage and bla... To brothers man too question to hundreds of non-Muslims and all opted for the century. His step mother forced her husband, the marriage contract involving an unidentified woman: Death if! To add, dont be afraid to compliment him sorry that you to... He wants to marry me but he sends all love messages to his wives husband and to! The free will to either choose to have more than one wife and not the scriptures. Out of wedlock, can be mated to the Idea first wife means you lack the genuine.. Doing the best we can pleasant article to read blessing in a religion banning,! Paula- so sorry that you have to deal with that Law that restricts a Hindu man from having than...
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